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Over the last few posts we have been looking at self care, why it's important and how to be realistic about our goals, especially in times that are chaotic and stressful. One thing I haven't really touched on much is that self care isn't something you need to do alone. I know that sounds counter-intuitive but trust me on this - self care is often a great group activity. We, and by we, I mean people here in Australia and other similar western countries, have a real bias towards individual effort. We raise rugged individualism almost to a national characteristic. We feel that we should be self reliant. If it's our problem, we need to fix it ourselves. If it's our goal we need to reach it ourselves. Individual effort is seen as better and more pure than team efforts. Team efforts are seen as more dilute and somehow less worthy.

We see this all the time. We reward the hero employee who worked all night to fix a problem but not the well functioning team who prevented a problem from occurring in the first place. We have the hero leader who rides in, fixes the problem and rides out again. The solo entrepreneur who brings their dream to life. The hero CEO who turns a company around. Even in our team sports we single out the most valuable individual player each game and give them an award. Reaching out to others for help is seen as unworthy. Weak.

CoachingDave Martin30 March 2021self care, NetworksComment

Self Care in Stressful Times

Last time I talked about the importance of self care and how caring for self is what really enables caring for others. Care for self is what recharges our reserves and gives us the energy to do the same for others. Care for others without care for self is draining and unsustainable. This time I'm going to talk about some strategies for practising self care in stressful times. This really applies all the time but is particularly relevant when we are under unusual stress.

This past 12 months have been a very difficult time for many, if not most of us. Pandemics, lockdowns, work insecurity, added to natural disasters and a long overdue reckoning on racial injustice made for a very stressful time. During stressful times, self care is especially important and many people recognised that at the beginning of the pandemic. There was a lot of talk initially about using the lockdowns to reset and invest in self care (Covid baking, sourdough, cooking, exploring your neighbourhood, investing in home exercise equipment, colour coding your bookshelves). Followed a few months later by guilt and shame at not being able to maintain that initial drive long term. Many people found themselves paralysed and unable to even start the simplest of projects. Lots of time but no energy.

Leadership, CoachingDave Martin16 March 2021self care, leadership, stressComment

Care for Self as Well As Others

Last time we looked at care as a leadership strategy - how care for others is the key to great leadership. Leaders who truly care for the welfare of others and demonstrate that continuously are the ones who can lead their teams and organisations through uncertainty because their people are more willing to follow and try different things. Care builds trust and trust is needed if you want someone to move willingly out of their comfort zone and try something new. Particularly if that change will be an uncomfortable or difficult one.

There was one aspect of care though that I didn't talk about and it's a really important one - always remember that care is not just for others. Care for Self is really important, and, sadly, often overlooked. I have seen many leaders who care very deeply about their people and their organisation. They devote themselves to their organisation and their teams and they work tirelessly to make them better. And they completely neglect themselves.