Support Networks

Over the last few posts we have been looking at self care, why it's important and how to be realistic about our goals, especially in times that are chaotic and stressful. One thing I haven't really touched on much is that self care isn't something you need to do alone. I know that sounds counter-intuitive but trust me on this - self care is often a great group activity. We, and by we, I mean people here in Australia and other similar western countries, have a real bias towards individual effort. We raise rugged individualism almost to a national characteristic. We feel that we should be self reliant. If it's our problem, we need to fix it ourselves. If it's our goal we need to reach it ourselves. Individual effort is seen as better and more pure than team efforts. Team efforts are seen as more dilute and somehow less worthy.

We see this all the time. We reward the hero employee who worked all night to fix a problem but not the well functioning team who prevented a problem from occurring in the first place. We have the hero leader who rides in, fixes the problem and rides out again. The solo entrepreneur who brings their dream to life. The hero CEO who turns a company around. Even in our team sports we single out the most valuable individual player each game and give them an award. Reaching out to others for help is seen as unworthy. Weak.

CoachingDave Martin30 March 2021self care, NetworksComment

The Importance of Networks

When you come up with a new idea for a project, whether it's for work, as a side hustle, or just something to do around the house, what's the first thing you do? Usually, you will start to work out what you need to do to get the job done - start putting together a to-do list. For large projects that to-do list won't be for getting the job done, there will be a significant to-do list generated just to get the project started. Sadly, this is where most projects stop. With an ever growing, ever more daunting to-do list. A list that no matter how much you work on it never gets any smaller. Energy drops off. Enthusiasm wanes. Projects stall.

For some projects, even putting together the to-do list to get started is too daunting a job. It's so much easier to carry on with life as usual, forever putting it off and dreaming of how much better things will be once you can get started. I have worked with some people whose ideas have sat idle for decades because they just couldn't get started. In working with people whose ideas are stuck I have found that there is usually a way to get things unstuck and moving again. It's nothing to do with them. They don't need more motivation or drive or skills or willpower. They have plenty of that. What they need is a network.

Coaching, LeadershipDave Martin24 November 2020Networks, motivation, feedback, goalsComment