Last time we started looking at the drama triangle - the three roles of victim, persecutor and rescuer - that people tend to adopt during a conflict. We saw that although the roles may shift over the course of a conflict, people remain stuck in that triangle, unable to break out, continually swapping roles but unable to resolve the conflict. We also saw the first hint of a way out of the triangle, by changing roles, not into one of the other classic drama triangle roles, but into something completely different.

Those different roles are creator, challenger and coach. To break out of the triangle, the victim needs to become the creator, the persecutor needs to become the challenger and the rescuer needs to become the coach. These three roles, although quite similar the victim, persecutor and rescuer (because after all they are the same people in the same conflict) have a shift in mindset that allows them to break free of the drama triangle and resolve the conflict.

You have walked into a firestorm. On the first day, management takes you aside and tells you that the teams just aren't up to scratch. They are always late, they don't have the skills, they don't care about business outcomes. Don't they realise that If we don't make the date, the company will struggle? Can you please go in and fix them?

On the second day, the teams tell you about management's unreasonable demands and how they are working late nights and weekends, with no recognition, struggling with poor equipment and environments, slow processes and constant micromanagement. Can you please get management off their backs and let them get on with it?

Day three you turn up and have both sides looking at you with pleading in their eyes, expecting you to come to the rescue and solve their problem. Welcome to the Drama Triangle. The Drama Triangle comes out of the family therapy area and was first described way back in 1968 by Stephen Karpman. The Drama Triangle states that in many interpersonal conflicts, people will assume one of three roles - the victim, the persecutor and the rescuer.

A nice short post this time to ease myself gently back into the business of blog writing in the new year. I hope everyone had a fantastic holiday season filled with as much of your chosen way of celebrating as you could handle without doing yourself lasting damage.

How many times have we seen this situation - it's standup time and the team are gathered around the board sipping their morning coffees. "I need to raise a blocker" says one of the team. "I need some help with the design and I've been stuck since lunchtime yesterday so can anyone help out this morning? I probably only need 10 minutes". The team discusses the problem, tasks are rearranged and the team works out how to get the job done. Sounds great doesn't it? But there's a problem here. Can anyone see it?