What makes a leader great?

Last time we asked the question - "What makes a great leader?" and in order to answer that, we had to look at what it is that a leader actually does. What really is leadership? It turns out that the function of a leader is to allow large groups to work in a coordinated and purposeful way. Then we started to look at what sort of skills leaders are encouraged to develop and which of those skills really make the difference between a leader and a great leader.

The skills that really make a difference are not the ones that many people assume are the important ones. Technical skill in whatever it is you are doing is fairly unimportant. How driven you are personally is not that important. The reason for this is that those skills are ones that don't scale. Being technically good as the leader doesn't make the group any better once you hit the capacity of that one leader to dispense technical advice. Being driven to succeed as a leader doesn't make the group driven to succeed. Those things are individual things. They have a scale of one. What matters when leading groups are skills that scale across the whole group - things that lift the whole group up, not just the leader.

LeadershipDave Martin18 August 2020leadership, coaching, capability building, communicationComment

Breaking The Drama Triangle

Last time we started looking at the drama triangle - the three roles of victim, persecutor and rescuer - that people tend to adopt during a conflict. We saw that although the roles may shift over the course of a conflict, people remain stuck in that triangle, unable to break out, continually swapping roles but unable to resolve the conflict. We also saw the first hint of a way out of the triangle, by changing roles, not into one of the other classic drama triangle roles, but into something completely different.

Those different roles are creator, challenger and coach. To break out of the triangle, the victim needs to become the creator, the persecutor needs to become the challenger and the rescuer needs to become the coach. These three roles, although quite similar the victim, persecutor and rescuer (because after all they are the same people in the same conflict) have a shift in mindset that allows them to break free of the drama triangle and resolve the conflict.

CoachingDave Martin17 December 2019conflict, coaching, communicationComment

Coaching And The Drama Triangle

You have walked into a firestorm. On the first day, management takes you aside and tells you that the teams just aren't up to scratch. They are always late, they don't have the skills, they don't care about business outcomes. Don't they realise that If we don't make the date, the company will struggle? Can you please go in and fix them?

On the second day, the teams tell you about management's unreasonable demands and how they are working late nights and weekends, with no recognition, struggling with poor equipment and environments, slow processes and constant micromanagement. Can you please get management off their backs and let them get on with it?

Day three you turn up and have both sides looking at you with pleading in their eyes, expecting you to come to the rescue and solve their problem. Welcome to the Drama Triangle. The Drama Triangle comes out of the family therapy area and was first described way back in 1968 by Stephen Karpman. The Drama Triangle states that in many interpersonal conflicts, people will assume one of three roles - the victim, the persecutor and the rescuer.

CoachingDave Martin3 December 2019coaching, communication, psychologyComment

Our Need To Be Right

The meeting has become a little heated. Battle lines have been drawn. The argument has been going for a while now. Neither side is backing down. But then you see it! A chink in their logical armour. A flaw in their argument. This is your chance. You marshal your thoughts and go in for the kill! The argument is yours! It will be your proposal that gets accepted, not theirs. I mean, sure, their proposal had some good points, but yours was clearly superior. Clearly. Probably a good thing they didn't pick up in that bit where you had to fudge some numbers to make things look better… like you did with theirs.

OK. How often have we sat on the sidelines watching others slug it out and thought about how the argument has gone on way past the point where it is about getting a good outcome and become about winning the argument instead? Regardless of the quality of the outcome? How often have we been in this sort of situation ourselves and thought about how important it is to win the argument? So why does this happen? Why can we see how silly it is when we watch others but can't see that same behaviour in ourselves?

LeadershipDave Martin7 November 2019communication, coaching, personal growthComment

Don't Wait To Communicate

A nice short post this time to ease myself gently back into the business of blog writing in the new year. I hope everyone had a fantastic holiday season filled with as much of your chosen way of celebrating as you could handle without doing yourself lasting damage.

How many times have we seen this situation - it's standup time and the team are gathered around the board sipping their morning coffees. "I need to raise a blocker" says one of the team. "I need some help with the design and I've been stuck since lunchtime yesterday so can anyone help out this morning? I probably only need 10 minutes". The team discusses the problem, tasks are rearranged and the team works out how to get the job done. Sounds great doesn't it? But there's a problem here. Can anyone see it?

AgilityDave Martin22 February 2017team, communicationComment